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On October 12, Honeyflowers frontman Paolo Santiago was accused of sexual harassment and inappropriate behavior by many sources. Fernando Hernandez of the band Common Girl posted screenshots of messages from anonymous people on his Instagram page, whose text and direct messages accuse Santiago of spreading false rumors of having sex with him, sexually harassing underage girls, and showing toxic behavior toward women.

Santiago posted an apology statement on both his personal and his band’s Instagram page. He accepts blame for making women feel unsafe around him and invites the accusers to contact him so he can apologize personally. However, he denies the accusations of pedophilia and will seek legal action against those statements. “As for the claims of pedophilia, I strongly deny having inclination towards such illegal activities. I will be taking legal action,” Santiago’s statement says.

As a young Edinburg musician, Santiago was on a prominent path in the local music scene. He released his first album in August, was featured in a KRGV story, and has played at local festivals. Since the allegations, the community has responded to him with condemnation. His follower count has drastically fallen on his personal and music accounts, and several comments were posted expressing outrage. “What a little fucking earthworm,” one comment reads.

Gathering The Receipts

The stories of inappropriate behavior were collected by Hernandez after a conversation with a friend about recommending local bands to listen to. “I brought up Honeyflowers, and that’s when this person made sure it was Paolo I was talking about. Then this person told me about Paolo and got me into contact with two others,” he says. “I got in contact with someone else close to him and then I posted screenshots from these four people. After that, people started sending me more after those posts got shared.”

Hernandez currently has the four initial testimonies on his Instagram page, but had posted many more on his Instagram Story feed that have since expired. He shared testimonies from 17 people but had 14 more who did not want their statements made public. He stressed that he did not collude with the accusers. “I didn’t know them, sometimes we didn’t even have mutual followers,” he says. He also stated that he did not have a problem with Santiago before the allegations. They have been acquaintances and would connect through sharing music with each other. “Before this, I didn’t have anything against him and I’m not after his reputation. I’ve personally enjoyed his music. I can see the creativity in it, and it’s structured well.”

Hernandez met Santiago at a friend’s birthday party over a year ago, where one of the most serious claims took place. It was stated by Hernandez and in one of the Instagram Story screenshots that Santiago had opened a fanny pack that was filled with condoms and showed it to a 16-year-old girl. Another serious allegation comes from a screenshot from a then-16-year-old girl who was “crossed” at a college party and didn’t remember that Santiago was “grinding up on [her] from behind” the previous night until someone mentioned it to her. Santiago is currently 22 years old.

Other claims include spreading false rumors about having sex with women and making advances toward women after inviting them to work on music together, despite having a girlfriend at the time. “He’s a pathological liar,” Hernandez says. “He was recently blocked by a girl. They were supposed to work on music together. She didn’t want to work with him anymore. He told me about it and said he was messaging her too much and wanting to facetime. She was under the impression that they were working on music together, but he kept making advances. I heard he specifically tries to work with girls and make advances instead of work together. I have this friend that I’ve known since high school that worked on music with him. She’s a good singer, so I didn’t see why she wouldn’t want to keep working with him, but it was because of Paolo.”

Hernandez kept the identities of the accusers private, but one woman made herself known by replying to Santiago’s public response in the comment section. She took issue with Santiago’s statement about the “many things being said about [him] in a hurtful way to bring down [his] reputation,” as well as his declaration of legal action. The woman, Caitlin McDermott, commented the following-- “i literally forgot you were alive and breathing, do not think or care about you, explain to me why i would want to lie about you. i’m not anonymous and i have a personal lawyer, let’s go[sic]”

Due to the quantity and severity of the allegations, Hernandez does not believe Santiago should have a second chance in the public eye. “I don’t think there’s a path to forgiveness,” he says. “There are lot of things people should be given a second chance on. There are people in prison for weed or for being a victim of systemic racism, but sexually-driven crimes aren’t forgivable. He shouldn’t come back from this.”

Hernandez would like the community to be a safer place for victims to speak up and for others to be supportive. “Right now I feel there’s solidarity with people my age and younger about creating a culture for victims to comfortably come forward,” he says. “Why would you be a bystander and not do anything? I’m shocked that no one said anything about Paolo for years, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I hear more stories about him. I just hate the excuse that if you don’t know that person then it isn’t your problem, because those people won’t do anything until it affects them.“

Paolo Santiago responds

          Santiago does not deny most of the claims and stated that he is aware of the damage he has caused. He has kept a transparent approach about his past behavior with his friends and family, and feels he is a better person today. “I made it no secret that I’ve been manipulative and toxic in the past. They don’t approve of my actions in the past, but they know the person I am today. I’m young and I’m still young, and my promise moving forward is to make people feel safer around me,” he says.

               Santiago feels his public response was too rushed, but also that it was an honest expression at the time, and does not intend to edit his statement. “I wasn’t victim shaming. I apologize if it seemed that way. I wasn’t threatening legal action against these people,” he says. “The legal action I intended was to verify the validity of the claims and that it was never towards the victims, just the person posting saying all that pedophile stuff.” As for the negative comments sent to his Instagram pages, he will not delete any. “I’m not trying to micromanage anything or be overly defensive, and the hurt they cause me is nothing compared to the hurt I’ve caused others.”

               In relation to the incidents of Santiago showing a fanny pack full of condoms to a girl, he says he does not know of any underage girls present and was showing the bag around the room as a joke, which he regrets. “I was trying to do the zaniest things to get a laugh. I just thought, ‘Hey, fanny pack full of condoms. Haha.’ I’ve never been known as a cool guy or anything. I was trying to fit in. I know now that I made them uncomfortable.” In response to the accusation of “grinding up” behind a girl, he stated that he does not “actively go to parties to grind on anyone” and if it happens it never goes beyond that. “I feel terrible that I made people uncomfortable through my actions. I don’t want anyone to ever have to go through that kind of uncomfortability,” he says.

               Santiago also spoke about his behavior with a woman who felt uncomfortable when trying to work on music with him. “I was overly excited. I hadn’t talked to anyone else around quarantine and I see I made her uncomfortable with my phone calls. I was just excited to talk to someone else. I even told my girlfriend about all this,” he says. “Any rumors of a relationship between us, those did not originate from me.” As for the rumors of sex with certain women, he says that he spread false stories and that it stemmed from a need to boost his status. “We as a society should teach boys to not be pressured into lying about sex as a trophy. That’s what I thought. That sex was a marker for success in society.”

In regards to a relationship that he claims was toxic on both ends, Santiago has a lot to say to an ex-girlfriend who was mentioned in the allegations:
        “As for my ex, I know I hurt you and you forgave me, and I see you changed your mind, I don’t blame you. I spoke ill of you, and your name got dragged in all this. I hope in the future you can do well and not have me be a stain on your life. I really hope the best for you. I apologize, and I won’t hurt another person like that.”

The discussion of cancel culture can surface with incidents of this kind. Santiago feels that the movement does not do enough to change someone’s behavior. “I don’t feel cancelled. I feel confronted,” he says. “Which is good. Cancel culture is good for exposing victims and perpetrators, but we also need to confront them head on. I don’t like the term ‘cancelled’ because it can mean the person is still continuing their behavior. It shouldn’t be about silencing. It should be about change.”

         Due to the postponement of live music concerts, Honeyflowers is not active, but Santiago understands if the band does not want to associate with him any further. He has not spoken about the future of Honeyflowers or his music career and would like to focus on addressing the victims.

Thank you for reading. Please follow Raymus Media on Instagram and Facebook for more Rio Grande Valley music and news.